Poker gun-shy?

Recently I haven't been doing well in my favorite hobby: poker. I don't know what's going on. Being home in Toronto, relaxed and well-fed, I thought I would be making a decent fortune. I haven't been losing much but also haven't won anything. This frustrates the heck out of me. Imagine Tiger Woods couldn't drive the golf ball onto the fairway. Something that is routinely done and now I can't do it. I can't win. That is one of many reasons why I didn't play any poker last week. It feels good not to play. Sounds like an oxymoron because I love playing poker. Other reasons why I didn't play is that I had to get all the mortgage papers, fire insurance, PDI, and other things in order for the new house.

I'm still contemplating whether I did the right thing to leave my job in Harrisburg. For those of you who don't know, I had worked and lived in Harrisburg, PA for the past five plus years. The first three and a half years went great. I didn't care to be away from Toronto and I really liked the money (my job paid well). But the last one and a half years were really tough. Three reasons compelled me to leave. First of all, I was going out with a girl from Toronto and she wasn't just any girl. She was beautiful on the inside and outside. My situation in Harrisburg and her living in Toronto was very difficult. We went on a few dates for a few months and almost every weekend I came back to see her. Things didn't work out and I think it's mostly because I lived so far away. Secondly, in 2004, I had tracked my poker hobby to see what's my hourly rate and see whether it's possible for the hobby to support my living. I was making an average of $85/hr and got a total of $37,500 in 2004. All of this came from playing at night, a couple of hours a day. It gave me ideas that I could do it. My hobby could make me some money. Thirdly and most importantly, I had the feeling that all the good stuff in life were just passing me by. I lived a very mundane, boring, and lonely life in Harrisburg. I had friends and I played ice hockey but life was still boring. I was there when I was 25 years old, and five years later, I was still there and I am 30! Someone whom I deemed to be a friend, whom I deemed to be very intelligent, quoted this and it struck a chord with how I felt: "Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different." (Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson) I don't want life to pass me by.