I had the weirdest hesitation today... (written on 2/15/2007)

I had the weirdest hesitation today. I'm not talking about the hesitation of bungee jumping off a 80m bridge. Anyone in their right mind would have hesitated jumping for the first time. What's weird was that I hesitated whether to put the toilet paper in the toilet or in the trash dispenser on the Delta airplane. It took me three seconds to realize that it's okay to put toilet paper in the toilet. Being in Costa Rica for two weeks and being used to putting your shitwipe (sorry for the graphic depiction) in the trash makes you reconsider everything you take for granted in North America.

As I took my flight out of San Jose, CR., I realized what a lucky bastard I am. I am happy. Just pure happiness. I love life. I love testing my limits, learn things, do things, be a participant of this wonderful thing, called life. For the first time of my thirty-one years, I finally have travelled alone. It's a wonderful experience. I met wonderfully nice people from all over, and some shady people who taught me to be street smart. I'm sure they're shady not from their own choice, but because of poverty or something that cause them to do that. If you're very well off, would you risk it and try to scoundrel people for $20 bucks? People do what they need to survive. I

won't make it easy for them because I gotta look out for myself, but I don't blame them when I'm f**ked. Another new experience I had is that I can successfully surf. I spent one week at Zopilote surf camp, and thanks to the help of Bruno who had given me three lessons, I was able to stand up and ride the green water waves (which are waves before they break; white water waves are waves after they break).

Another new experience as I had briefly mentioned before was bungee jumping. Freaking scary. Scary because I didn't trust the equipment. Something could go wrong. I was not in control of the situation. I had to put my trust in the equipment. Anyhow, a great honour was bestowed upon me to be the first one to jump. Seeing someone jump just before you, would relieve, um I mean mitigate, your fears because you know the darn thing works. I didn't have that luxury. So there I was on the platform after following a few commands to get into position. He told me to drop the rope between my leg. He shouted out the command... "in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 JUMP". I said "Hold on, hold on". I asked him if all the safety features were in place. He nodded. I, myself, did a quick mental check. Then I looked down and saw a shallow river flowing over rocks. Not good. He told me to look straight ahead and jump. Again, he did the countdown and this time I took a big breath in, and jumped. Hooray! I'm alive. It's freaking fantastic.